Leave a party if you see Her Husband comes in to the room!

Her Husband comes in to the room!
Sorry I cant say much at the minute as I'M in hiding!!

I noticed the girl I picked up earlier has an Adams apple!!1
Well if u dont know, ask ur mother!

First rule of relationships: Liposuction every 5 years

Liposuction every 5 years
whats to explain!

max. of 3 relationships every 5 years!

My son! he's 6'8"!!! is someone I admire

my son! he's 6'8"!!!
His ability to use a full tin of body spray and still smell of b.o

me.
i love him! and i think he loves me too!

Stephen Hawking
his genius and his Albert Einstein qualities. but most of all, how he can keep going with all his disabilities. I don't think I would or could cope with that.....

Please get Yellow submarine out of my head

Yellow submarine by Beetles

any song by boyzone

You're the One That I Want Lyrics by John Travolta / Olivia Newton

Stuck in an elevator with delta goodrem

delta goodrem
Hot r what! Just have a look at her, mind blowing beutiful!!!
How or what she sees in Brian McFadden is beond me.

President Barack Obama
i'd ask him if he can get us out of here, and he would say 'Yes I can!'

I could eat nothing but death by chocolate for a year

Death by chocolate by Jacob Bøtter

death by chocolate

I could eat nothing but chocolate & biscuit cake for a year

I'l have u in the end!!!

Chocolate-covered Oreo Cake by ginnerobot

chocolate/biscuit cake. or biscuit/chocolate cake!

Here, have a million dollars

I would give 150,000$ to my friend Russel so he can open a Indian/ srilankan restaurant which serves traditional Indian/srilankan food.
250,000$ to Bird Watch Ireland, to help reintroduce both Sea Eagle and golden Eagles to our Shores.
And 500,000$ to help both the hungry, sick and homeless people in war torn areas of the world.

That would leave me with 5 million $. Well, I think I might put my name down to fly on the space shuttle to the Space station.
For everything else , there's Master Card!!

I demand 3 polar bears and a getaway car at the front door in 20 minutes

3 polar bears and a getaway car at the front door in 20 minutes
Just get me the bears and car....Hurry, the clocks ticking and uv got 10 minuets left or the giraffe gets it!!

I want a another birthday cake from 'The Poet's Rest cake shop in Slane, Co Meath, Ireland. You know the one, the biscuit and chocolate one. I want u 2 put
I love biscuit chocolate cake and my cholesterol is 6.4

Zombies!

tell them i'v nothing in de house and maby they would like 2 go out 4 an Indian r chinese!!!!!

Making out in in a golf club

well... not great as it was dark outside the golf club. I thought to my self 'WOW! she's got a small mouth and her Lips!!! all floppy and waxy. She let a shrike and said 'I really like that! but can you please take your tongue out of my ear! and kiss me.
So I sort of ,made a pigs ear of my first kiss!!!!!!

Regards:B

Where can I park my Escalade with gold rims?

Escalade with gold rims always wins. Its got that 'je ne suis pa' and stuff like that.... But seriously though, I though he was dead.

I'll spend my golden years near Christchurch New Zealand

south island new Zealand!!! The most beautiful place in the world and Christchurch is a pretty good place to live out your so called Golden years, but I would head down south a bit to a town called 'Invercargill'. "Eden was heaven and God was a happy God. But when Adam and Eve done the dirty deed, he destroyed all before him and created a place we now know as New Zealand, and stayed 4 a time in a place Called 'Invercargill" Heavenly or what!!!!!

A Fine Sports man

I was the first goalkeeper in league of Ireland football ( soccer ) to save 3 penalties during play.
That's the serious stuff out of the way!!
For the sporting world to hear about me I think I would have to be 'Tiger Woods' brother and being white would make me stand out!!!!

Seat me next to the quiet starer, please

Well... I could understand them staring quite easily as I'M very good looking or so my mirror tells me. How ever..... if this staring kept going for more than 4 or 5 hours maybe then id ask him why he didn't get of in his home town 4 stops back! but then the women sitting across from us gets up and grabs the person staring at me and says ' i bought this mannequin in he sales, it will look great in my shop window!!!!!!!!

'Bring Back That Leroy Brown' will help you through a break-up

Bring Back That Leroy Brown by Queen

Made me feel good again!

Spread Your Wings by Queen

'Pull yourself together
Because you know you should do better
That's because you're a free man '

I'm Going Slightly Mad by Queen

I'm one card short of a full deck
I'm not quite the shilling
One wave short of a shipwreck
I'm not my usual top billing
I'm coming down with a fever
I'm really out to sea
This kettle is boiling over
I think I'm a banana tree
Oh dear

My song about ' Death Valley 'furnace Creek'

' look whats comming down the line
some indian chief, says he's from 'Lone pine'
Says , some one stole me squaw from my jeep
and is hideing out near furnace Creek.

You can call me...

Homer! The grinch! Groucho! and finally Mr. hypochondriac.
U can work it out 4 your selves.........although sometimes I'm happy... just sometimes....

Let me tell you what I do

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you all but I'm just a humble bus driver. I did in a previous life work in Irish Telecoms. But Hey! I Like what I'm doing. I get to walk my two dogs In Rossmore Park every day and with my refereeing and part time gardener, also my wife works in the county council as a environmental chemist. That helps!!

Vancouver made me homesick

I missed the softer toilet paper and stronger beer!

my love

I'm looking 4 some one, but cant find her. If I could see her one more time i could leave this place with a heart full of smiles. Can u help me find my beautiful flower so that she might turn and give me one last kiss. the fog lifts and the sun gives the wilted flowers one more chance. I must go now my friend...... adieu